iPod alert: Monitoring your teen's music

Our 15-year-old and 13-year-old daughters' iPods are filled with bubblegum pop like The Jonas Brothers, Country/Western faves from their Mom's collection, and some eclectic selections from their Dad, who used to be a music critic. Our 4- and 2-year-olds are easy -- they listen to what we give them (I have a running list of kids' music that won't make my ears bleed). Our 10-year-old is the one who really needs monitoring; he loves to listen to music clips online, where it's far too easy to segue from standing under Rihanna's "Umbrella" to rolling with Li'l Wayne.

My mother spent her formative years in a convent boarding school in India where, when it came to popular music, anything other than Pat Boone was off limits. When I was a tween, my mom allowed me to buy Madonna's first album, but "Like a Virgin" was not allowed in our house -- not appropriate for a young girl, my mom decided -- and Heavy Metal was deemed "too disruptive." (The Grateful Dead was OK, because it was mellow; I don't think she was aware of exactly how mellow, but my brothers, who were major fans, certainly weren't going to point that out.)

Now that I'm the parent, I find myself wishing that the line between "acceptable" and "not-acceptable" music was as easy to find. Lyrics and album covers are one thing, but what stars do in their personal lives is part of the daily news cycle now -- by allowing your child to listen to their music, are you condoning the artists' behavior? With iPods to fill and song samples available for free online and even on your phone, it's much more difficult to monitor what your kids are listening to these days -- how do you help them decide what to buy when it's so easy to leave the parents out of the decision making process?

At U.S. News, Mary Kate Cary solves the problem at her house with a "do not buy" list. "I can't stop them from listening to all rap music, or all hip-hop, or even all pop music. Much of it is fine. Plus, offensive music is everywhere -- friends' houses, on the radio in the carpool, even at the ice-skating rink," she points out. "But I can say we're not going to support certain artists financially, even if it's only 99 cents at a time, by purchasing ring-tones and iTunes of their songs. They don't have to ask permission before every song, but my husband and I reserve the right to audit their iTunes list at any time."

Over at Child Caring, I'm asking readers why and how they monitor their kids' music choices. Do you have a "Do Not Buy" list? What's on it?

A high chair that loves to travel

Holding your squirming toddler while you're trying to eat can make any meal unmanageable, but when you're on the road, a highchair isn't always available. Those clip-on ones are convenient but too bulky to carry, and putting your crawling kid down on a restaurant floor isn't an option. So, what is? I wrote about a great new product called the Totseat this weekend for my Gearing Up column in the Boston Globe's Sunday Travel section.

April 26, 2009

Gearing Up

Hands-free mealtime

By Lylah M. Alphonse, Globe Staff

The Totseat is a strong cloth high chair that slips over and clips onto most adult-ize chairs to securely hold babies and toddlers who can sit up on their own (about 8 to 30 months old). Stuff it into a bag for easy transport; it weighs just 10 ounces.About $35 at Wild Child (397 Mass. Ave., Arlington; 781-483-3566, wildchildgear.com) and online at TrendyKid.com. [More]

Do you have a product that makes it easier to travel as a family? Drop me a line!

Tweet, Tweet! I've changed my name on Twitter...

I've changed my name on Twitter to @WriteEditRepeat. Which makes a lot more sense, given the name of this blog, right?

If you're already following me on Twitter, you should already be all set. If I'm already following you: Ditto. New to Twitter? Follow my musings at @WriteEditRepeat!

Treating autism: A primer on interventions

At Boston.com's Child Caring blog, I'm wrapping up my series for Autism Awareness Month with a primer on different treatments and therapies.

No one really knows what causes autism. A recent article in Science Direct indicates that children living near toxic waste seem more likely to have autism. Though the thimerosal/MMR vaccine theory has been debunked, many parents feel that the mercury-laced preservative is linked to their children's autism by triggering a toxic tipping point or otherwise damaging the immune system.

Last year, some studies showed a possible link between autism and certain metabolic dieases can be sensitive to vaccine toxicity, leading to some autism-like symptoms. And of course, there's the genetic link: “Autism is probably caused by many, many things, most of them genetic, and this is one of them,” mitochondrial expert Salvatore DiMauro of Columbia University and the author of a study of autistic individuals with mitochondrial disease, tells the Simons Foundation Autism Research Initiative.

With the autism rate on the rise, parents are turning to a number of different resources and interventions in the hope of finding a way to manage their children's autistic behaviors, improve their lives, and maybe find a way to help them heal. There's a great discussion about various methods going on in the comments section of the first post I wrote for Autism Awareness Month.
As with any medical condition, treating autism is not a do-it-yourself proposition, so please talk to your child's doctor(s) for more infomation and guidance. There are many options to look into when it comes to helping your child and alleviating some of the traditional symptoms.

Applied Behavior Analysis: ABA focuses on understanding how an individual's actions and skills are related to and affected by their environment, including social settings. The goal is to use various techniques, such as positive reinforcement, to encourage useful or desired behaviors while minizing harmful or negative behaviors. According to the Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies, "ABA has been effective for teaching a vast range of skills to people with disabilities as well as to many other people in every setting in which people live, study and work."

There have been hundreds of published studies showing that certain ABA techniques can help individuals with autism learn specific skills, such as how to communicate, develop relationships, play, care for themselves, learn in school, succeed at work, and participate fully and productively in family and community activities, regardless of their age.

For more information on ABA, or on choosing a well-trained specialist, visit the New England Center for Children's resource page or the Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies autism page.

The GFCF Diet and the SCD: Our 10-year-old son, who has Asperger's Syndrome, has been on a gluten-free and casein-free diet for about five years now (as recommended by several doctors, who still follow his treatment). It turns out he may have a genetic predisposition to gluten sensitivity, and instead of processing gluten properly, his gut leaks it out into his bloodstream, where it eventually acts like an opiate, plugging receptors in his brain and making him act loopy, spacy, and distant. Even now, five years later, it's easy to tell if he's ingested gluten -- the spaciness sets in within a day or two and he often ends up with stomach pain, which gradually disappears over the course of several weeks of being back on the diet.

Another option some doctors suggest is the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, or SCD. Based on chemistry, biology, and clinical studies, the diet allows or prohibits certain foods based on their molecular structure. Complex sugars and starches are not allowed, but simple ones -- think bananas, peas, and nuts -- are, because they do not need to be broken down by the digestive organs and, as such, do not tax the patient's already-damaged digestive system.

According to Pecanbread.com, a site devoted to the SCD: "The diet of early man is one of meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, nuts, low-sugar fruits, and certain oils. Starches, grains, pasta, legumes, and breads have only been consumed for a mere 10,000 years. Many people are not adapted to these types of foods yet."

There is a case to be made for a link between dietary intervention and a change in the severity of symptoms of autism. "If I were to put a gallon of milk in my car's gas tank, people would think that I was nuts," says nutritionist and autism advocate Mika Bradford, whose youngest son was diagnosed with autism about 10 years ago. "But when I suggested that what my son was eating affected his moods and behavior, I was belittled. We know that what we eat can affect our weight, blood-sugar levels, and how we feel. Dietary intake is directly related to medical conditions like Celiac disease and diabetes. Why would we diminish its role in other states of disease or behavioral diagnosis?"

Dr. Tim Buie, a pediatric gastroenterologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, has studied the connection between gastrointestinal issues and children with autism. On the Autism Network for Dietary Intervention website and at several conferences he's stated that he believes that many of the symptoms of autism are actually indicators that the child is in physical pain and unable to communicate about it. His study of more than 500 gastrointestinal endoscopies with biopsies on autistic children show that "more than half of these children had treatable gastrointestinal problems that ranged from moderate to severe including esophagitis, gastritis and enterocolitis along with the presence of lymphoid nodular hyperplasia."

Biomedical Invervention and Dietary Supplementation: There are a host of controversial interventions that hinge on removing toxins like heavy metals or supplementing the patient with things vitamins, minerals, or enzymes that the patient may not be producing on his own. The DAN (Defeat Autism Now) method combines biomedical, nutritional, and behavioral therapies to "recover" children with autism. The majority of mainstream doctors, however, do not recommend the DAN protocol, pointing out that "certain biomedical interventions, like chelation, are considered to be potentially dangerous," though the link between environmental factors, like toxins, and autism is becoming more accepted. Discover Magazine ran an article recently on biomedical intervention, in which Jill Neimark writes, "A vivid analogy is that the genes load the gun, but environment pulls the trigger," leading to an array of symptoms that need to be treated in the body as a whole, not just neurologically.

In Healing and Preventing Autism, Jenny McCarthy and Dr. Jerry Kartzinel detail several of the most popular supplements -- vitamin B12, digestive enzymes, fatty acids, Zinc, selenium, calcium, and probiotics, among many others -- in an easy-to-follow, conversational way (though the book seems more geared toward reassuring like-minded readers, rather than presenting the pros and cons of different interventions and theories).

I'm a mom and a journalist, not a doctor -- whatever methods people decide to explore in treating autism, it's imperative that treatment take place under the supervision of a qualified doctor or, in the case of ABA, a qualified, trained therapist. As with any medical condition, autism treatment is not a do-it-yourself project.

You can read the other posts in my series on Autism Awareness here

Inside the mind of a child with autism

Autism awareness: Resources that can help

Does my child have autism?

I completely forgot about Earth Day

Earth Day slipped off my radar this year. Nary a CFL did I install, and my kids heard not a word about conservation.

I felt a little guilty -- but not for long:

It’s not that I’m not interested in saving the Earth or conserving resources. It’s not that I don’t want to “go green.” It’s that I reduce, reuse, and recycle as much as I can already — why should Earth Day be any different? It’s becoming a bit like Valentine’s Day, in some ways, but with CFLs instead of cards and candies. It feels like we’re encouraged to do all sorts of little things to mark the occasion, and then we’re in the clear to go back to our wasteful ways for the rest of the year. ... [More]

If you really want to celebrate Earth Day, celebrate it every day, all year long, by changing your basic habits. Over at The 36-Hour Day, I offer up a few suggestions... surf over and take a long (and then turn off your computer when you're done).

Mother's Day is on the way! 15 great gift ideas

Looking for something unique for mom (or for yourself!) this Mother's Day? Over at Work It, Mom!, I've done the brainstorming for you and pulled together 15 great gift ideas. Prices range from under $20 for a set of great spices from Penzey's, to custom-made purses starting around $30 at 1154 Lill Studio, to some truly beautiful jewelry for less than $100. Here's a sneak peek; go over to Work It, Mom! to see a slideshow of all 15 picks.

Making yourself more valuable to your company

Today, I'm live at Shine, where I'm writing about ways to make yourself more valuable as an employee. With layoffs and cutbacks hitting almost every sector, who stays and who goes may come down to things we can't control -- seniority, for instance, or full-time vs. part-time status, or the number of people in a given job category. But there are a few variables that can be controlled, and they can make a big difference in how valuable you are as an employee: Dedication, visibility, and special skills. Read the rest at Shine!

15 questions to ask a prospective babysitter

I had a minor child care crisis this week, and it made me realize that I really, really need to step up to the plate and find back-up childcare already. My youngest kids' school and day care were closed, my husband was away, I had to work, and there was no baby sitter on call. I scraped by (it's challenging to work from home with little kids running around, but it can be done -- single parents do it, and more, all the time). But I wished I had taken the time to thoroughly vet a few baby sitting candidates months ago.

What have I been waiting for? It's not that I don't trust anyone with my children... frankly, I've been procrastinating because I haven't wanted to deal with the interview process.

Yes, the interview process. Whether you're looking for a teenage "mother's helper" to play with the kids for an hour after school or a full-time live-in nanny to hold down the fort while you're at work, you have to rely on more than a notecard pinned to a corkboard at the supermarket. When I was a babysitter, good recommendations and an up-to-date CPR certification were more than enough to get a child caring job. But now? Not anymore.

So, I decided to tackle the issue via the Child Caring blog, where I'm offering up a set of 15 questions to ask a babysitter, and asking readers to provide a few of their own.

If you're looking for a full-time nanny, I've got a great checklist of questions to ask over at Work It, Mom! If you prefer to go through an agency that's done some of the screening for you, Care.com is offering a fee-free three-day weekend starting in the morning on Friday (April 24), during which you can access their database of pre-screened caregivers for free, search for providers (child care, pet sitters, housekeepers, and tutors) by location, post jobs, contact providers, check references, schedule interviews, and even run a free background check.

Once you've found a few prospective babysitters, you still have to interview them yourself. Here are 15 questions to start with; tailor them (and add others) to fit your family:

1.) What are your qualifications?

2.) Is there an age-range with which you are most comfortable?

3.) Can you provide references?

4.) Will you give you permission to conduct an extensive background check?

5.) Do you know first aid or have any emergency training or other certifications?

6.) Do you have children of your own? How about younger siblings?

7.) What are your interests? Your pet peeves?

8.) Have you ever had to discipline a child? Why? How did you handle the situation?

9.) What would you do in an emergency? (List different scenarios.)

10.) What is the most difficult situation you've ever been in with a child? What was the outcome?

11.) Do you like pets? (If you have any)

12.) Do you have your own car? (If so, check his or her driving record.)

13.) Will you pick my child up at school if I need you to?

14.) What sort of a time committment are you looking for, day-to-day? How about in the long term?

15.) Are there any questions you have for me to answer?

Autism Awareness: Resources and insight

With autism now more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined, if your child isn't on the autism spectrum, chances are good that he or she knows (or will eventually know) someone who is. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 1 out of 150 kids have autism, an increase from previous estimates.

April is Autism Awareness Month, and at Boston.com's Child Caring blog and at The 36-Hour Day, I'm writing about ways you can better understand and help a child with autism.

Autism may be characterized by varying degrees of impaired social interaction or communication, but a little insight can go a long way toward making social situations easier. Start by shattering the Rainman myth, and take a moment to see what autism is like from the point of view of someone on the spectrum.

At Child Caring, I've reprinted (with permission) Ellen Notbohm's amazing essay, "Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew," adapted from her book of the same name. The mother of a child with autism and another with ADHD, Notbohm's books provide an enlightening glimpse into the minds of children on the spectrum, and have been an eye-opener for many people who are coping with a new ASD diagnosis or wondering how to interact with a child with autism. Go over and read it -- it provides eye-opening insight to what it's like to be a child on the spectrum.

At The 36-Hour Day, I've offered up a list of my top autism resources, including AutismWeb.com, Wrongplanet.net, The Autism Research Institute, Autism Network for Dietary Intervention, and AutismSpot.com.

Each week this month, I've devoted a Child Caring post to autism awareness. Stay tuned: This week, I'll tackle the controversal question of whether autism can really be cured.

Hauling lots of gear on a trip? This can help

There are few things more cumbersome to carry around than a carseat. When you've got more than one child, several suitcases, and a diaper bag -- and only two hands -- things can get really stressful. I wrote about this great product, the air-porter, in a recent "Gearing Up" column for The Boston Globe's Travel section:

When you're traveling with children, you often end up hauling around more gear than people. The Air-Porter strap system makes it easy to carry the extras from the parking lot to the gate. It buckles on to any size wheeled suitcase so that bulky items - car seats, strollers, portable cribs, other bags - can be stacked on top, allowing you to maneuver it all as a single unit. Have your kids outgrown their car seats? The Air-Porter is great for carrying things like skis, guitars, and golf clubs, too. It costs $75 online at air-porter.com or by calling 408-679-9924. [More]

Autism awareness: Understanding children on the spectrum

With autism now more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined, if your child isn't on the autism spectrum, chances are good that he or she knows (or will eventually know) someone who is. So, how do you help your child interact or socialize with someone on the spectrum?

Start by shattering the Rainman myth: Autism may be characterized by varying degrees of impaired social interaction or communication, but a little insight can go a long way toward making social situations easier. For example: "Birthday parties are an ideal way to introduce an autistic kid and his parents to your home," Paul Collins writes in Cookie magazine, where he offers tips on hosting an child with autism. "They're the stuff he finds logical: presents, cake, things to climb on. What's not to get?"

Ellen Notbohm is the author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew, and The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled, all ForeWord Book of the Year finalists. She is also co-author of the award-winning 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, a columnist for Autism Asperger’s Digest and Children’s Voice, and a contributor to numerous publications and websites around the world.

The mother of a child with autism and another with ADHD, Notbohm's books provide an enlightening glimpse into the minds of children on the spectrum, and have been an eye-opener for many people who are coping with a new ASD diagnosis or wondering how to interact with a child with autism. This excerpt is from Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew and is posted here with permission from the author (please contact her for permission to reproduce in any way, including re-posting on the Internet).

Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

By Ellen Notbohm

Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute -- the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.

Autism was once thought an “incurable” disorder, but that notion is crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing even as you read this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism’s most challenging characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of autism’s most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey towards productive, independent adulthood.

Autism is an extremely complex disorder but for purposes of this one article, we can distill its myriad characteristics into four fundamental areas: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and impairments, the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. And though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front-of-mind the fact that autism is a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be completely alike. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. And, just as importantly – every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.

Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:

1.) I am first and foremost a child. My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.

As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?

2.) My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:

My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!

My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.

Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.

3.) Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.

4.) I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me “Jamie ran very fast.”

Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.

5.) Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.

Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

6.) Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.

I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.

7.) Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.

8.) Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.

I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”

9.) Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.

Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.

Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.

10.) Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you -- I am worth it.

And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

They may have had autism too.

The answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life -- what future achievements from today’s children with autism, children like me, lie ahead?

All that I might become won’t happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we’ll see just how far I can go.

© 2005 Ellen Notbohm.To contact Ellen or explore her work, please visit http://www.ellennotbohm.com.

Back in April, I wrote a series of posts for Boston.com's Child Caring blog in honor of Autism Awareness month. You can find them all here at WriteEditRepeat.

Dropping the ball in my work-life-parenting juggle

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I was late picking up my youngest kids from preschool and day care.

I know it doesn't seem to be that big a deal, but it was, for me, for several reasons:

• I've never been late before.
• It kills me when the kids are the last two left.
• I'm flying solo, and I was sure I could manage everything by myself.
• There's a per minute, per kid charge if you show up late, as I mention over at The 36-Hour Day.

Every traffic light seemed to take longer than normal. As my clock clicked over to 5:59 p.m., it seemed to stop measuring time in minutes and start measuring time in dollars. “You know there’s a $5 per minute, per child, charge for picking up after 6 p.m., right?” the not-at-all-happy-to-still-be-at-work caregiver told me as I scribbled my name onto the billing form. I must have gasped, because she thought for a second and added, “Or $1 a minute. I don’t remember. Either way, it gets expensive.”

My little kids -- the last two there -- were happily playing with trucks and cars when I bolted into the building, and they looked up and greeted me with an enthusiastic "MAAAMAAAAAAA!" So I know they're no worse for wear. But I still feel horrible.

It’s not just the blow to my wallet (though I’m really, really hoping that it’s $1 per minute per kid, rather than $5. I can swallow having to shell out $20 extra for being 10 minutes late, but $100? Shoot me now). It’s a blow to my SuperMom status — or, really, the illusion of it. People still ask me “How do you do it all?” and days like this make me feel like a fraud, because the truth is that, some days, I can’t do it all — not even when I have to.

Read the rest at The 36-Hour Day, and commisserate -- have most working moms been there, done that before?

Birthday party etiquette: Invite the entire class, or not?

For the past few years, my youngest kids have been young enough that birthday parties weren't a problem. We'd invite the neighbors, family members, and a few close family friends, the kids would play together and eat cupcakes, the adults would chat, and it was a low-key, easy-to-throw affair.

Now, my youngest daughter is 4. She's been in preschool for a while, and has started attending birthday parties and going on playdates. And I've got a dilemma to deal with: Do I invite her entire class to her birthday party this year, or not?

After attending several gymnastic parties and a few others with princess themes, though, I'm not sure that a simple family gathering will do. And I'm not sure that I want it to.

When I was a kid, in the (gulp) '70s, my parents used to insist that I invite my entire class to my summertime birthday parties -- plus my classmates' parents and siblings. We had a pool and a huge yard and kids would swarm around like cake-fueled bees while the parents would sip beer and eat grilled chicken and much fun would be had by all.

Or so I assume. I never heard my parents complain. But I'll level with you: The idea of inviting all of my kids' classmates and their families to my house is enough to give me the vapors.

On the other hand: The idea of my 4-year-old knowing about a classmate's party but not being invited to it breaks my heart, and I don't want to make another child feel that way. In fact, that's how most parents seem to view the issue. "I know life's not fair," Momlogic's Julie wrote recently. ""But I don't know why my son has to learn that lesson in second grade. Isn't that a little young to adopt a 'life sucks, then you die' philosophy?"

Have birthday parties just become too PC? At Cafemom, one member points out: "Everybody has become so worried about hurting other's feelings in this regard that I've seen parents nearly go broke because they not only felt compelled to invite every kid in the class but they take it a step further and invite all the kids in the same grade!... If your child does not hang out with people at school, why would you want to invite them?"

I threw the question out to my readers at Boston.com's Child Caring blog, and was surprised to find it touched a nerve with many of them:

• "I think we're all taking this birthday party question a little too seriously," one commenter wrote. "Why are we so darn afraid of letting our children experience the world? Isn't our job to help them become independent, successful adults? How can we do that when we shelter them from every hurt feeling?"
• "Children will get over it if they are not invited to every single classmate's party. They are much more resilient then we give them credit for," posted another.
• "I heard a great Birthday Party rule of thumb from a friend: Invite the same number of children that your child is years old," suggested another reader.
• "Depends on how big the class is. If it is 15 or 20 kids that she sees everyday, then yes, I would invite them all. (It is not like inviting a whole class of 300 to a graduation party.) Alternatively, you can invite just the girls (or boys if you have a boy). Maybe just have the party at a playground and make it informal with cake and ice-cream. It doesn't have to cost alot if that is even a concern of yours," one commenter pointed out.
• "I would invite the whole class, but at a minimum you should invite all the kids whose birthdays / after school adventures your "butterfly" was invited to," was another suggestion.

Kid friendly music that's easy on parents' ears, too.

My husband used to be a music critic; it kills him to listen to the semi-folksy, super-sweet kids music. We banished Raffi and "Baby Beluga" and the Laurie Berkner Band when our older kids were little, and slipped more modern, non-kid music into the CD player whenever we could. Consequently, our now 13-year-old's first favorite song was "Song 2" by Blur, our 4-year-old is digging "White Winter Hymnal" by the Fleet Foxes and "Lovely, Love My Family" by The Roots, and our 2-year-old puts on his sunglasses and rocks out to The Aquabats.

But there are times when only kid music will do. If you're tired of the standard, saccharine sing-alongs, check out these eight CDs that parents can enjoy along with the kids!

The Backyardigans: Born to Play ($13.98 at Amazon.com). From the hit Nick Jr. show "The Backyardigans," the songs here are sung by actual children and vary by genre. “Born to Play” is the show’s third offering and includes the five songs from their hilarious rock-opera and a cameo by Cyndi Lauper, among other things. (Their first two discs -- “The Backyardigans” and “Groove to the Music” -- are great, too.)

The Best of Schoolhouse Rock ($13.99). A collection of those classic educational shorts from the 1970s and ‘80s. This disc offers up the best of the bunch, including “I’m Just a Bill,” “My Hero, Zero,” and “Conjunction Junction.”

Schoolhouse Rock! Rocks ($8.99). For those of you who prefer to teach your kids about history, math, and money with a modern edge. Check out "Three is the Magic Number" sung by Blind Melon.

House Party ($13.99). Dan Zanes used to play with the Del Fuegos, and his hipster roots are evident in his kid-friendly offerings. This disc offers wonderful renditions of old favorites like “Jamaica Farewell” with Angelique Kidjo, “Waltzing Matilda” with Debbie Harry, and “Wabash Cannonball” with Bob Weir.

Here Comes the ABCs ($10.97). Upbeat alterna-pop stars They Might Be Giants sing songs that are quirky enough to keep the kids interested and fresh enough to keep adults happy. This CD is actually a CD/DVD combo disc; the videos are just as charming.


Songs from the Street ($44.99). This three-CD set covers 30 years of songs from PBS's Sesame Street, one disc per decade. Did you know that the Pointer Sisters sang that shrieky pinball song? Me neither. And dig Cab Calloway crooning "The Heidy-Ho Man."

Power Puff Girls: Heroes and Villains ($18.98). These three kindergarten-age superheroes are busy saving the world before bedtime. The CD is a collection of music used in the now-classic Cartoon Network show, sung by adult artists, but fun for older kids who really like to rock out.




Yo Gabba Gabba! ($11.98). Another disc of kid-friendly music that adults will love. Some of the songs are sung by the Nick Jr. characters; others are happy and upbeat songs sung by adult artists like The Ting Tings and The Roots.

What would you tell an aspiring journalist?

I'm heading down to my hometown tomorrow, to be on a Career Day panel at my old high school. But given the current state of the journalism industry, not to mention the turmoil at the newspaper where I've worked for 15 years, I really don't know what to tell them.

It just seems wrong to tell these young hopefuls, “Look, you really don’t want to be the last one driving this bus. Study something else.” But it seems equally wrong to be idealistic about print journalism right now, what with newspapers going online
only or folding entirely or being threatened with closure or going bankrupt.

So, I’m going to tell them a few things that I wish I knew 20 years ago, when I landed my first paid byline and decided that journalism was the field for me. I think the advice applies for pretty much any career path — even ones you might consider for a later-in-life switch. ... [More]

The details are at The 36-Hour Day, as usual, but you can get the basics right here:

1.) Be open to everything. Even if you’re certain that your major is perfect for you, try something else. You never know… a night-school cooking class might prove that real-life in a restaurant isn’t quite so much like “Top Chef” as you had hoped.

2.) Learn how to promote yourself. One of the most difficult things for me as a journalist is trying to market my brand and promote myself. After years of learning how to be a fly on the wall, it can feel awkward to have to deliberately call attention to yourself. A marketing class -- or a marketing minor -- makes sense, no matter where you hope to work.

3.) Think in terms of gaining marketable skills. Journalism is a trade; the more you do, the more you know, regardless of what you’ve learned in school. In the same way, on-the-job experience is essential no matter what field you choose.

4.) Get a mentor. I didn’t really have one, and to this day I wish I had done more to pick people’s brains and learn the ropes.

5.) Network, network, network. It’s so much easier to do this now, with email and Facebook and LinkedIn, than it was I was in college. Take full advantage of your connectivity!

What field are you in, and what advice would you give to a young hopeful who is interested in following in your footsteps?

Focus on: AutismSpot

April is Autism Awareness Month, and each week this month I'm focusing on issues about autism at Boston.com's Child Caring blog. This week, I profiled Kent Potter, a father of two and the founder of Autismspot.com.

Kent and Angie Potter's oldest son, Sam, was born prematurely, and from the very beginning they had a swirl of doctors and specialists around them, helping them navigate the world of preemie development. So when Sam started exhibiting severe developmental delays (above and beyond the ones most preemies have), they had people to turn to for advice.

An autism diagnosis quickly followed, and they began their search for ways to help Sam, who is now 8 years old (their younger son, Luke, 4, is neurotypical). "We were spending over $100K on medical care year after year," Kent Potter recalls. "My accountant said, 'You spent $500,000 in med care the last few years, what’s next? What are you going to do?' And I said, 'I’m going to do something about it'."

That something was AutismSpot.com, a website dedicated to inspiring, informing, and educating people about autism.

With a free online library of blogs, articles, and about 400 videos from parents, teachers, therapists, and medical professionals -- plus 120 or so more on their educator-training platform, SpotUniversity.com -- AutismSpot aims to make information from private providers accessible in a community environment. "You know the last five minutes of a therapy session, when the therapist tells you, 'This is what you should work on at home'?" Potter says. "Many people can't afford to meet with these providers." AutismSpot focuses on offering as much information as possible -- not just the popular ideas. "We don't have to agree on what works," Potter says, "just that there are many options... It's not just about talking. It's about communication."

April is National Autism Awareness month. Each week this month, I'll devote a post to issues that relate to life on the spectrum and the special parenting challenges that autism presents. After last week's post, many readers emailed or wrote comments asking for resources for parents of kids on the autism spectrum, and for information for adults with autism. Here are a few others:

AutismWeb.com: A parents' guide offering news, conference information, educational resources, and interactive message boards.

Wrongplanet.net:
The forums here are geared toward people of all ages on the Autism Spectrum, with threads for parents, school and college life, jobs, and social skills, as well as active forums on adult autism issues and discussions.

The Autism Research Institute: In addition to information for parents dealing with new autism diagnoses, Autism.com offers resources for those searching for a doctor affiliated with Defeat Autism Now! (DAN) and information about possible autism triggers and the controversial idea of autism recovery.

Parents, please weigh in: What resources have helped you the most?

Multitasking may be a myth

I talk on the phone when I drive because it's the only time I have to chat without a child in the background. I've hemmed my pants while editing an article. I've handed my toddler a juice box while driving, cooked a multi-part dinner all at the same time, and juggled more than one project for work on the same deadline. Who hasn't?

Like most working moms, I often credit what’s left of my sanity to my ability to multitask. Whether it’s folding a mountain of laundry while watching TV or typing emails while trying to keep your toddler from pecking at the keyboard, multitasking is how busy moms manage, right?

According to neuroscientists at MIT: Maybe not.

Apparently, we’re not doing several things at once as much as we’re doing several things one at a time, very quickly — and not necessarily very well. So multitasking? It may be just a myth.

Earl Miller, a Picower professor of neuroscience at MIT, says that for the most part, our brains simply can’t focus on more than one thing at a time — no one’s can. “Switching from task to task, you think you’re actually paying attention to everything around you at the same time. But you’re actually not,” Miller said in on NPR’s Morning Edition recently. “You’re not paying attention to one or two things simultaneously, but switching between them very rapidly.”

Over at The 36-Hour Day, we're wondering whether we really do multitask. Do you think we do? Or are we deluding ourselves?

Is your toddler a biter?

The first time my toddler's caregiver took me aside at pick-up time to talk about "the incident," when my little boy was about 18 months old, I was a little concerned, but not very much so. The bite hadn't broken the other child's skin, she said. The two boys were separated, mine was told to apologize, the other child was comforted, and the two tots had gone back to playing within about a minute, as if nothing had happened.

And then it happened again. And again. And... again.

I was mortified. I'd always worried about what I'd do if my child came home with a bruise or a bite; instead, it turned out that my son was the biter.

I dove into the research, and wrote about some possible reasons for the behavior -- as well as a few potential solutions -- at the Child Caring blog.

Toddlers often bite if they are overtired, frustrated, unable to communicate, or just plain angry, but typical behavior usually stops quickly (within a week or two) if you intervene.

Also, around age 2, most children start to cut molars, and the painful process can also trigger a very real and physical need to bite something. Anything. My now 4-year-old liked to chew on a frozen washcloth; a friend of mine used to give her kids those long green Bristle Blocks to gnaw on. My youngest boy? It didn't take too long to figure out what was going on: Apparently, if another child got too close too quickly, he'd tell him to back off by using his teeth instead of his words.

It actually makes sense. "When a toddler bites a friend, it most likely isn’t an act of aggression: It is simply an immature way of trying to get a point across, experimentation with cause and effect, or playfulness gone awry," Elizabeth Pantley, author of Gentle Baby Care and The No-Cry Sleep Solution, writes on Justmommimes.com.

It took lots of repetition, vigilance, and patience (as well as an awesome segment on Yo, Gabba Gabba called "Don't Bite Your Friends") to help our little man learn to say "I'm not ready yet!" or "No, thank you" and to walk away when his pals got too close.

In their book I Brake for Meltdowns: How to Handle the Most Exasperating Behavior of Your 2- to 5-Year-Old, Michelle Nicholasen and Barbara O'Neal point out that at age 2, children are quick to learn that biting can be a way to get your attention and generate a little excitement. Experts suggest that you try to intercept the child before he or she has a chance to bite and redirect him or her to another activity. If the bite has already occurred, make it clear that you are unhappy about it and do not want the child to do it again. (The old "bite him back" school of thought is not a good one, says Dr. Robert Needlman on DrSpock.com. "When you bite or slap a very young child, he's apt to keep it up, either as a fight or as a game or because he believes that if you are capable of such behavior, why shouldn't he be?" Dr. Needleman writes.)

Biting should stop being an issue by age 3, but older children can still act out in anger. What do you do if the bite breaks the skin or traumatizes the child who has been bitten?

"Have your child take an icepack to the victim and check on how she feels," Nicholasen and O'Neal suggest. "Your child can learn about consequences from looking at the bitten area and seeing the sad expression on her friend's/sibling's face." (The authors note that this is more effective for older children; a 2-year-old usually doesn't understand empathy yet.)

Is your kid a biter? Or has your kid been bitten? Aside from putting Yo Gabba Gabba!'s "Don't Bite Your Friends" on repeat at your house, how have you handled it?

Can a doctor be a conscientious objector?

The last day to comment on the Obama administration's proposed rescission of the Bush administration's midnight regulation on the expanded Conscience Clause is April 9, and I'm writing about the issue at The 36-Hour Day.

The economy is impacting us in myriad ways, but one of the most shocking, to me, is the way it’s had an effect in the bedroom. People are trying to figure out if they have enough money to have another child; a heartbreaking number of people have decided that they do not, and are putting their family plans on hold, choosing sterilization, or deciding to have an abortion.

It’s a terrible decision to have to make, and there’s another layer of difficulty that’s being discussed often these days: Doctors and nurses faced with having to decide between their faith and their jobs.

... Though most of the debate has focused on abortion, the Conscience Clause issue also sheds light on some tricky topics: Which is more important, the rights of the patient or the rights of the healthcare provider? Is it discrimination to fire a healthcare worker who refuses to do something that’s clearly part of the job, like dispensing contraception? To whom does “pro-choice” apply? Is it ethical to impose your morals or religious beliefs on your patient? ... [More]

Personally, I think a narrowly defined Conscience Clause could be a good thing; healthcare workers deserve protection. But the expanded regulation that went into effect in January of this year goes too far, setting parameters so broad that a cashier at a drug store would be protected for refusing to sell a married man condoms on the grounds that contraception was against her religious beliefs, or a lab technician who puts away instruments could refuse to work because the instruments could be used in sterilization procedures.

So, the question is, where do you draw the line? If a soldier can be a conscientious objector on the warfront, can a doctor be one in the operating room?

What do you call a step parent?

One of most challenging parts of being a stepparent, for me, has been the labels. I hate calling them my stepkids, and calling them my husband's kids makes me feel like I'm not really part of their lives -- which couldn't be farther from the truth. But I didn't want the kids to feel like I was trying to replace their mom (and I certainly didn't want their mom to feel like I was trying to usurp her role as their mother). In the "Parenting Traps" column of today's Boston Globe Sunday Magazine, I write about the name game:

Early on, we exchanged ideas about what they should call me: a variation of "Mom"? No, that might hurt their mother's feelings. "Bonus Mom"? Accurate, but awkward. "Extra Mom"? Ditto. So I call them "my big kids," and they use my first name. If pressed, they add, "She's my stepmom." None of us like the label or the baggage that comes with it, but it requires the least amount of explanation -- and, oddly enough, the people who question us are almost always adults. Children don't seem to care how I'm related to my kids. ... [More]

Read the whole thing online at Boston.com/Magazine, and if you're a stepchild or a stepparent, weigh in: How did you handle the label?

Another round of daycare Mama Drama

My youngest kids transfered into a new school recently, and Mama Drama is back with a vengance. This time, though, it's not my 4-year-old; my normally outgoing and cheerful 2-year-old is the one clinging to my legs and begging me not to leave. At The 36-Hour Day, I'm dealing with Daycare Drama, round infinity:

Our youngest kids started at a new preschool and daycare recently, and the Mama Drama is back. Not my 4-year-old, she of the dramatic yet silent tears. This time, it's my usually cheerful 2-year-old. And it is killing me.

Week One of "New School" was fine and dandy. Both kids were up and raring to go (way too) early in the morning. My daughter instantly became the Queen Bee of her classroom, fitting in easily and happily among her new friends. My little boy decided his teachers were "Weally awessum, Mama" and was a hit with new friends as well.
Then came Week Two.

All of a sudden, my little guy is saying "But I don't WAANNNNAAA go to school" from the time he sees me reach for my car keys to the time we pull into the parking lot. Then his wail changes to the infinitely more heartbreaking "Mama, I just wanna hang out with YOUUUUUUU."

He turns into a baby barnacle, and I lug him up the stairs to his older sister's classroom. She throws her things in the general direction of her cubby, shrugs out of her coat, and is off to play with her friends before her coat even hits the floor.
Then I lug him to his classroom, back downstairs.

He's fine for a bit, but as I inch toward he door he dissolves, and my heart does, too. I know I'm probably making things worse by staying for a few minutes -- drawing out the good-bye process and all -- but from the way he's clinging, you would never imagine that this child has been in care since he was 6 months old. In fact, his teachers probably think he's never been out of my sight.

I know it's not the new daycare. How do I know? Because this round of Mama Drama started while he was still at his old daycare. It's not the new caregivers. It's me.

I also know that he's probably fine three minutes after I leave. I fact, I know that for sure, because yesterday I waited around the corner, at the top of the stairs where he couldn't see me but where I could still hear him, and I listened and counted while he cried for me.

I know many people will have a field day with this post, but believe me, staying home is not an option for this breadwinner mom, especially not in this economy. It goes against every instinct to not do anything when your child cries for you, even though you know he's OK. Being a working mom doesn't change that.

So I stood there and tried not to cry, and counted. It took 210 seconds for him to stop crying. Three and a half minutes, until not only was he not crying, he was laughing.

I wiped my own eyes and went to work.

Anyone else go through this? How did you handle the Mama Drama? Please share your daycare or Mama Drama experiences in the comments (but no Mommy Drive-Byes, please -- I'm beating myself up enough without help).

Austism Awareness: Does my child have Autism?

April is Autism Awareness Month, so each week this month I'll be posting about issues related to Autism Spectrum Disorders and the parenting challenges they present. I'm kicking it off with an excerpt from a great interview with autism activist Mika Bradford and an overview of ASD over at Boston.com's Child Caring blog.

Most people hear the word "autism" and automatically think of Rainman, the 1988 film starring Dustin Hoffman as an autistic savant with an affinity for numbers and a painful need for routine. But as any parent with a child on the Autistic Spectrum knows, most forms of autism look nothing like that.

So, what are Autism Spectrum Disorders? According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), "Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), also known as Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDDs), cause severe and pervasive impairment in thinking, feeling, language, and the ability to relate to others."

Our 10-year-old son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome about five years ago. Asperger's is a very mild, or "High Functioning" form of autism, and it took time for family members to come to term with the diagnosis. "But he smiles and laughs and is affectionate! He can't be autistic!" one insisted. "That's can't be right," another declared. "He's just a quirky kid."

Some parents notice something different about their child from the beginning. Others see a change in a child who had been developing normally. Still others notice mild developmental issues that make them wonder if their child is just quirky, or if there's a larger problem looming. "Is it autism?" one mother asks herself. The answer: "Does it matter?"

Not in terms of how you love your child. But in terms of how to help your child navigate life? Absolutely.

April is National Autism Awareness month. Each week this month, I'll devote a post to issues that relate to life on the spectrum and the special parenting challenges that autism presents. This week, I'd like to introduce you to autism activist Mika Bradford.

Bradford became involved in the autism community nearly a decade ago, when her youngest son was diagnosed with autism as a toddler. A certified nutritionist, sales rep for nutritional supplement maker Kirkman, and a content specialist with AutismSpot, she has held a variety of positions with North Texas's Families for Effective Autism Treatment and is the founder of Natural Foods and Nutrition Consulting, Inc.

"My experience early on in my journey through autism was devastating and downright humiliating," Bradford says. "I am not alone when I say that many medical professionals belittled me and the questions I asked on behalf of my son. In the beginning, I had resentment but, over the years, I have come to realize that in many ways the physicians are just as much victims of the system as we have been."

For readers who don't have children on the spectrum, could you please share a couple of facts that surprise people when it comes to autism?

I think people are most surprised to learn that children with autism can get better, so much so that some children are considered to be recovered, losing their diagnosis. While this is not the outcome for every family, what we do know is that the quality of life for each child with autism can be improved.

Your readers may also be surprised to learn that many everyday things like what the children eat and drink can impact their moods and behaviors greatly. Research from major teaching universities are confirming what parents and a handful of professionals have known for over a decade -- that this condition is not only about the brain, but is affected by the other systems of the body.

Many people think that all children with autism are gifted, having special abilities. Only a handful of individuals with autism have "special skills." Most individuals with autism have difficulties in communicating, which can lead to inappropriate behaviors. The general public may see how parents handle these situations and not understand the reasoning of what is being done. Many parents, including myself, have spent thousands of hours and dollars learning how to parent using a positive approach, shaping the responses of the child (which ultimately hinges on our actions and behaviors as parents and caregivers). That may sound like common sense, but it is amazing how many parents of neuro-typical children never look at how their actions are impacting the responses of the child.

There are so many disorders that fall on the Autistic Spectrum -- Asperger's, ADD, SID, PDD-NOS, just to name a few. What are some of the "early warning signs" that a parent should watch out for?

Some of them are listed in Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and Pervasive Development Disorder: A Mother's Story of Research and Recovery by Karyn Seroussi. If a parent is concerned about their answers to some of these questions, then they need to speak to their physician about an autism screening.

Does your 18-month-old child's language development seem slow?
Has he lost words that he had once mastered?
Is he unable to follow simple commands such as "Bring me your shoes?"
When you speak to him, does he look away rather than meet your gaze?
Does he answer to his name?
Do you or others suspect hearing loss?
Does he have an unusually long attention span?
Does he often seem to be in his own world?

Autism is a developmental disability that impairs social and language development. It occurs in families from every class, culture, and ethnic background. It is not a mental illness, and it is not caused by trauma -- it is neurobiological and its symptoms can be greatly reduced by early diagnosis and treatment.

How has the autism community -- resources, research, treatment options -- changed in the 10 years since you first became involved with it?

Well I guess you could say it is completely different. When I started in the world of autism, very few people had even heard of dietary or nutritional support for autism. Families were told to just go home and love their children the way they were and instructed to look for long-term care and placement for the future. In just 10 years, the amount or resources has more than doubled. We now know that environment does affect autism and that this condition is not static as once believed. Researchers from prestigious universities like Harvard are confirming that this population has gastrointestinal and immune-mediated conditions that directly impact the behaviors and coping skills of these children. Treatments that are now available range from vitamin therapy to Applied Behavior Analysis to Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy.

According to US Department of Education data, the number of autism diagnoses in children in the US has risen 644 percent from 1992-1993 to 2000-2001. Are doctors simply more aware of autism, and so are able to better diagnose it? Or are things previously dismissed as "quirks" now considered symptoms?

The diagnostic criteria have not changed that drastically in the past 10 to 15 years to account for the monumental increase in Autism Spectrum Disorders. If this was a condition that has risen due to better diagnoses, then where are all the adults with autism that should be accounted for? If the increase were due to children being reclassified, we would see the autism diagnosis increase and other disabilities decrease -- this has not been the case. The children who are now being diagnosed would never have "passed" as just being quirky. These children clearly have significant communication and social deficits that are debilitating.

What would you tell a parent whose child has been newly diagnosed with PDD-NOS?

I would encourage parents to leave no stone unturned when looking at what is the right therapy and intervention for their child. I would encourage them to give everything they have when trying to meet the educational and behavioral needs for their child. We have a saying in the world of autism, "You either pay now or pay later." This means that you ultimately have to find an effective way to deal with the challenges of autism. By providing the resources and support the child needs early on, you may bypass secondary consequences that would have arisen from those needs going unmet.

Parents must also give themselves grace. You must pace yourself to prevent burn out and, regardless of your financial resources, know that you can positively impact your child's life. Autism is an expensive condition to treat and live with, but resourceful families have found ways to work the system regardless of what funds are or are not available. You can do autism on a budget, it just may require a bit more planning.

Last, no matter what levels of functioning your child may be at, know that there is HOPE!

Click over to the entire interview with Mika Bradford right here at Write. Edit. Repeat. Coming up next week: A look at AutismSpot.com, a great free resource for parents and educators, and some insight into what it's like to parent a child on the spectrum.

At the Daily Grommet: A great gift idea

Today, I'm on video, over at The Daily Grommet! They're featuring a fun toy that would also make a fabulous gift -- Zoobie 3-in-1 Pets. Click over and take a look!

Dealing with layoffs: 5 ways to help

My main job is as a newspaper editor, and as everyone knows, the industry isn't doing so well anymore. The Boston Globe, where I work full time, laid off 20 part timers in the newsroom last week, cut five more full time positions this week, and handed all non-union employees a 5-percent paycut (the unions are being asked to do the same).

Like most of my coworkers, I've been eying that axe hovering over my head and wondering what I can do to help the people who've gotten cut. At The 36-Hour Day, I've offered up five non-financial ways to lend a hand:

1.) Ask them to network with you. I’ve seen a huge uptick in the number of LinkedIn invitations and recommendation requests I’ve received lately, and it makes sense — sometimes, the best way to land a job is to know someone in the business. An email asking them to peruse your LinkedIn contacts or be your friend on Facebook costs you nothing, and may help them meet someone who can help them get back on their feet.

2.) Offer up your home office. Do you have a fax machine that they can use? How about a high-speed internet connection? A scanner or copier? These are things that you might take for granted, but to someone who has lost their day job — and perhaps their access to all things office — they can make a big difference.

3.) Spread the word. An out-of-work friend may decide to take the opportunity to start her own home-based business — in which case, let everyone know about it. If she’s offering a service you can use, become a client, and give her sincere feedback so she can help make her business the best it can be. Do you have a skill that could help her new business? Maybe she’d be willing to barter, so you both get the benefit.

4.) Offer to babysit. If your friend has kids, offer to take them for an evening — chances are, date night was one of the first things she cut from her budget. (Need cheap date ideas? We’ve got you covered.) Or, she may have had to cut back on childcare, in which case offering to take them for a few hours during the day will be even more helpful. It’s hard to revamp your resume under pressure; it’s even harder to do so with a toddler underfoot.

5.) Really listen. Don’t assume that your friend is devestated about the job loss — for some people, getting downsized may be what helps them decide to find a better career. If she is upset, however, be supportive without resorting to those horrible cliches no one wants to hear. “It’s for the best” isn’t helpful. “You’ve got amazing XYZ skills, I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for leads” is better.

Where did April Fool's Day come from?

My 4-year-old is all about April Fool's Day this year. Me? I've never been one for pranks, but I've always loved a good joke (especially if good = silly). Over at Child Caring, I've offered up a brief history of the day, along with links to five great, family-friendly April Fool's Day sites.

April Fool's Day has been taking place in France since the late 1500s, when Pope Gregory XIII switched from the Julian calendar, which celebrated New Year's Day in the springtime around April 1, to the Gregorian calendar, which dictated that the New Year began on January 1. Those who disregarded the change -- or who hadn't heard about it -- were called fools and were tricked into going on "fool's errands." (Of course, there are loopholes in that explanation, most historians say, though it seem to be the most plausible of the bunch. For more theories, click over to the Museum of Hoaxes).

Regardless of its origin, April Fool's Day is celebrated in different days in different countries -- in Scotland, for instance, the jokes have to do with one's backside, the day is called "Taily Day," and the classic "Kick Me" sign reigns supreme (my 10-year-old will want to move to Scotland after he learns this). In England, the rules are that jokes can only be played in the morning. And in the US, of course, pretty much anything goes.

If you're looking on some fun ways to celebrate (harmlessly!), here are a few options:

Elephant jokes.
Knock Knock jokes.
Brainteasers.
Harmless pranks.
Riddles.

Have a fun day!