I'm a mom and a stepmom. I married my stepson and stepdaughters when I married their dad, and I really do mean that I married them -- I wore a sari and my stepdaughters wore custom-made lenghas that I'd brought back from India for them, they were waiting at the altar with their dad while I walked down the aisle on my father's arm, I wrote and said vows to all three of them, gave them silver bracelets (instead of rings), and had a family dance at the beginning of the reception.
I take those vows seriously, and I find that having made a public commitment to love, honor, and cherish them as well as their dad keeps me sane and strong when things get challenging. (The oldests are teenagers now. Believe me, things get challenging, even though they're not with us full time.)
Rachel Sarah of Single Mom Seeking just got remarried, and asks three really interesting questions:
Do you think there’s an ideal role for kids — whose parents are getting married — during a wedding ceremony?
Does it depend on the child’s age?
Or, do you think that children do not belong in a remarriage ceremony?
Here's my two cents: I think that kids absolutely, positively, without a doubt belong in a remarriage ceremony, regardless of their age, and regardless of whether both adults have kids "of their own." When you choose to marry someone with kids, those kids are part of the deal -- and they deserve to be honored as such.
Have you been remarried, or did you marry someone who already had children? What was your ceremony like?